FRANK'S STORY / A P.T.S.D. VICTIM RISES FROM THE ASHES OF UNWORTHINESS

Tag(s): Antiwar; Antiwar Movement; Awareness; Consciousness - Enlightenment; Inspirational; Inspirational; Love; Personal; Veterans; Veterans Neglected; Veterans Post Tramatic Stress; Veterans Vietnam
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May 27, 2007 at 16:53:40

FRANK'S STORY / A P.T.S.D. VICTIM RISES FROM THE ASHES OF UNWORTHINESS

by Allen L Roland Page 3 of 4 page(s)

http://www.robkall.com

Frank was beyond the point of no return and on the way to inner validation and guidance.

Session Five - open Your heart; There are no "Buts" or "What Ifs" with Love

I guide you in visualizations that help you realize how many people you have loved and have loved you. Your homework is to contact and thank these people for being gifts in your life - regardless of the risks of this contact. There are no "buts" or "what ifs" as far as completing this assignment. You must begin to realize that you have loved and been loved during your lifetime quest to find yourself. God only reveals himself to a grateful heart!

Frank realized during this exercise that he had been loved by a mulitude of people and had thanked very few of them ~ because of his deep unworthiness issues.

His homework was thank atleast ten before our next session which was two days later.

When you speak from the heart from a place of gratefulness ~ your heart will literally open and you begin to see through different eyes as Frank certainly was beginning to.

The only antidote for unworthiness is gratefulness.

Session Six - The Death Exercise

You are guided in a profound death exercise which helps you to experience the degree to which the people closest to you really know you. The exercise actually simulates your death and your resultant shock of knowing that you did not truly share yourself with the people closest to you. Your homework is to fully open your heart with the people who are closest to you, as if you, or they, were going to die tomorrow.

This was when Frank realized that the only person who really knew him was his beloved daughter, Nina. His homework was to share the person he was with Nina with everyone particularly his best friends.

Session Seven - Many are Called, Few Listen, and Fewer Still Respond.

This session shows that we are continually being called from within on the path of the heart, but few listen and fewer still respond. It is in this session that you begin to fully understand that you have been called to the inner journey of the soul versus the outer journey of the ego. This session ends with an visualization exercise in which you realize that the most precious gift you have always wanted is yourself. This last session is really a celebration, for you now know and have experienced another choice of behavior.

Frank was well beyond the point of no return ~ he now knew and had experienced another way of heartfelt being and he atleast deeply sensed another choice ~ that the biggest gift he could give anyone was the honest and heartfelt expression of himself.

He had emerged from the grey Zone where the light was everywhere and he didn't have to hide anymore.

Frank died in a tragic motorcycle accident about two years later but not before he had the chance to share the joy and delight of who he really was with his closest friends and many, many others.

Frank would like the fact that I shared his story ~ particularly now that atleast 40% of returning veterans from Iraq suffer from some degree of Post Traumatic Stress Dysfunction ~ which is really Post traumatic heart dysfunction. He would want them to know that they too ~ can emerge from the ashes of unworthiness and see through the heart and far clearer eyes.

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Allen L Roland is a practicing psychotherapist, author and lecturer who also shares a daily political and social commentary on his weblog and website allenroland.com He also guest hosts a monthly national radio show TRUTHTALK on Conscious talk radio www.conscioustalk.net

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8 comments

Katrin R.

The steps

You certainly have all the important steps covered, and I find your organization impressive.

I just wonder, how the patient gets to process all these phases in a set amount of time, and which is really rather short. But it is more the timeframe I am wondering about, and how you can control this for the client.

Intellectually, yes. But emotionally? How is it possible to integrate the child, and be ready to really be ready to do all this work. Like, i may understand the need to give and receive love, and I can go do the homework. But can I force the feelings to come, and if they do, to remain?

I am mainly asking, because I have worked through all these steps myself, and I know the difference. on the other hand, I had to be ready . It took me years before I really acknowledged my inner child, and then when I finally did, I was more than ready to embrace her. Yet, I had a very difficult time knowing what to do with her, because we had been separated for so long.

It took another crisis before I was really able to be my best friend, and this was actually something I had always wished for. To have a friend just like myself. It kind of happened by accident, but I would never switch back.

It happened when my life went from everyone caring,and liking me, and believing i was a great daughter, friend, etc to the exact opposite, pretty much over night. I was accused of the crime that was committed to me.

At first I thought I would never survive this. i could just not believe how people who had known and trusted me all my life could just switch on me like that; that they did not know, or trust me better.

But when I realized I was still alive one day, I discovered the wonderful freedom that came with people no longer liking me. I had always been a people pleaser, and I would have done anything pretty much to keep a relationship good, perhaps more for the sake of the other than for myself.

Now this pressure was gone, and people no longer expected me to be their caretaker And, i got myself as my best friend.

all this has smoothed out, of course, and not everyone still hates or avoids me at all. Still, the feeling of freedom remains, and never, ever will I throw myself away for another. I will be there with,and for another, but not at the expense of throwing myself away. (not edited)

by Katrin (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 20 comments) on Monday, May 28, 2007 at 9:43:13 PM

Teilhard

THE STEPS

You certainly have all the important steps covered, and I find your organization impressive.

The answer is that I am not afraid of whatever the client is afraid of ~ so I go in where no one has gone and they are not alone. It happens rapidly because they are not alone and they are healing themselves .

It's like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon ~ have you ever seen a butterfly carrying its cocoon with it or perhaps the better analogy is the horse to the barn !Once you deeply sense another choice ~ it is difficult to say no to yourself anymore.

The client sets the pace but I have many people who are done in six or seven days.

Allen L Roland

by teilhard (459 articles, 0 quicklinks, 84 comments) on Monday, May 28, 2007 at 11:31:57 PM

Katrin R.

I can better relate to the butterfly

When the butterfly comes out of it's cocoon, it does not carry the latter with it, because this is the natural development for the butterfly.

But the butterfly is not injured, and it is not suffering from PTSD, or at least we don't know what it would do to cope with a word where it is no longer safe, and where it no longer belongs, and where even if it gets treatment, this is more likely to re-injure it, and make things worse, than it is helpful.

it is wonderful that this client is able to trust you, but it does not work that way in the real world, and he does not have the defenses of a normal person any longer to cope with regular stressful situations, and especially because they trigger profound physical and psychological pain, and bad memories, and as much as the daughter loves him, she was not there in Iraq with him, and her brain was not altered as a result of the severe stress, and in the Iraq case, this involves much further, and worse betrayal, and the killings were much less meaningless than in other wars, and the soldiers were (are) not only up against an unequal enemy, but no enemy at all. (which makes the experience very different from that of WW2 soldiers, and who feel they belong, and made a difference in the name of 'good') and they were not treated horribly when they came back, and they were not sent back three times over a period of four years.

I am only thinking, that no matter how good of a therapist you are, and no matter how motivated the client, that in the case like the one you are describing, this client is dealing with much psychological and physical material that is involuntary, and not under his control, even if he develops a loving attitude.

I am not questioning you; I am only trying to better understand how the client is sustained, or otherwise has the freedom to change so completely.

by Katrin (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 20 comments) on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 12:22:30 AM

Teilhard

ANSWER

I am not questioning you; I am only trying to better understand how the client is sustained, or otherwise has the freedom to change so completely.

Because deepest within ourselves is love, joy, intention and purpose and the client senses this truth and I live it. They pull on that during their sessions and quickly begin to realize it is true.

Most people are not afraid of their deep pain ~ they are more afraid of their deeper joy . If I own it the piano will fall on my head ;-)

There is no such thing as an ugly soul but their are many maimed ones.

Allen L Roland

by teilhard (459 articles, 0 quicklinks, 84 comments) on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 12:34:13 AM

Katrin R.

after you are gone

What happens though, after the relationship is over. I am sure that your energy, and their relationship with, and trust in you, has the potential to do wonders. But what happens when it is over?

They cannot internalize you .....? I would think they need you, and depend on you. They would still be very fragile, especially when it comes to dealing with the much more difficult,and unfamiliar material, and arena, and what has been so familiar...the pain, and closing off.

by Katrin (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 20 comments) on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 12:59:21 AM

Teilhard

ANSWER

My job, as their therapist, is to empower them. The real coach is themselves and by taking action and going through their fears ~ they claim their own power. I then become their friend who they can call at any time ~ the last session is my favorite session because it's time for them to fly and they are ready by that time . The path to the soul is through doors of fear and the biggest fear is ~ That being myself is not enough .

The biggest gift I give them is myself and, as such, show that it is possible to truly be themselves.

Allen L Roland

by teilhard (459 articles, 0 quicklinks, 84 comments) on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 1:34:01 AM

Katrin R.

Thank you!

Thank you, Allen, for taking the time to explain, and respond. I think the 'empowering' is the clue. Many therapists do the exact opposite.

by Katrin (3 articles, 0 quicklinks, 20 comments) on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 5:38:33 PM

Teilhard

YOUR WELCOME, KATRIN

Your welcome, Katrin ~ Most long term therapy is thinly disguised Co-dependency. I am completely convinced and have proven that clients can heal themselves if therapists can get beyond their own fears, their need to control and empower their clients to another choice of behavior.

Allen L Roland

by teilhard (459 articles, 0 quicklinks, 84 comments) on Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 8:43:05 PM

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